i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
