I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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