I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
