all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
