That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im six kinds of drunk right now
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
