Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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