your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
