omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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