i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
