I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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