you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize