Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
