At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Who died my cat blue again?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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