Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
