Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
