i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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