So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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