Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
