You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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