Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
