you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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