Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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