i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
