We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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