Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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