glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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