If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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