Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
