I wanna bring you to show and tell
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
