We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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