Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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