North Korea, Best Korea!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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