we have officially lost it.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
