i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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