just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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