I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
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I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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