a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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