It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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