I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
