what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
