So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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