she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
