i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
