FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
