you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
