I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Randomize
