He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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