The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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