when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
