You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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