yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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