there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
