Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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