the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
