Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
