Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
