Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
