i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
