No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
