This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
