I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
