is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
